The Candlewick Convention Country Witches
Skies were burning scarlet as the daytime turned to night
and the Candlewick Convention Country Witches took to flight,
heaving on their broomsticks wicker-baskets filled with jam,
enormous lemon drizzle cakes and apple tarte-tatin.
Heading for a picnic at the end of Blackpool Pier,
but the friendly northern seaside-folk had nothing grim to fear,
for the Candlewick Convention Country Witches aren’t the sort
who go turning people’s children into froggies just for sport.
They’d rather bake a muffin, have a cup of red-bush tea,
organise a jumble sale or practise their tai-chi.
Yes, the Candlewick Convention Country Witches have a code:
‘Never make foul potions out of eye of newt or toad.
Always wear red-lipstick. Keep broomsticks nice and clean.
Use expensive toothpaste so your dental-work will gleam.
Dress in finely tailored clothes of flowing, silken white.
Enrich yourself with culture. Always be polite.’
They do a lot for charity, teach children how to read.
Most can speak eight languages, and all have got degrees.
They care for the environment and always pick up litter,
they help lost hedgehogs find their way by painting paths of glitter.
So on a lonely moonlit night, if you should see a witch,
don’t hide behind a bus-stop or dive into a ditch.
It’s probably a Candlewick, out on a mercy mission -
wave and thank your lucky stars the Girls are out there Witching!